-Dja Putin Stalin
What did Nietzsche search for when he entered the room that you were in?
He searched for light.
What does that mean?
I don’t really know. I wonder that myself.
Was it dark?
It was empty. It was void of anything that I understand.
Did he find light?
I am not Nietzsche. I didn´t know nor did I understand light.
How do you know what he was searching for?
My mind was placed at the same ‘space’ as his or vice-versa.
Did he understand what he was searching for?
I felt that he did but I don’t know…
How many times did ‘he’ do that?
Several times, I didn’t count. I was too young and immature to explain it to myself what was going on on an intellectual ‘level’. It was empty of influence, it was obvious and yet ambiguous at the same time. I didn’t have to think. I ‘knew’, as a sensation between my stomach and belly button, what he was communicating. It was not known to me whom he was at the first times he visited, only later I concluded that it was ‘him’…
Later when?
When I heard stories…
By whom?
Many different people. In particular my papa, Austro Queiroz. His presence was very similar to Nietzsche’s. When I met Austro Queiroz it was like meeting Nietzsche in person, I thought then.
Did you tell Austro that?
No. However, he knew most of my thoughts.
How come?
I never felt the need to hide from nor avoid him, except for the few minutes before he talked to me on the day that we met.
Why?
I was “at war” with the occasion. Perhaps, resenting it. I suspect that he knew that then, even before I said a word. He is very astute and sensitive. I had a moment of resistance to his slow approach to me but I was disarmed by his genuine smile and clear knowledge of what I was thinking. It never intimidated me but I was somewhat upset at first when I realized that we could communicate telepathically. I didn’t want to share my thoughts with ‘something’ I just met in person. Before that, I only could hear it by myself. I was annoyed for sure but, it was like we had the same mind. So, it made no sense to be “at war” with that fact and what seemed to be at war with myself, then. My mind was suddenly ‘paired with an understanding’ that I was getting used to from then on…
Was it love at first sight?
With Nietzsche or Austro Queiroz?
Either.
Neither.
No love at all?
I may not have the ability to compare what it is to what I’ve learned to be love. It can’t be touched. I don’t fully comprehend the origin, the process, the extent nor the source of it’s life… Some may call it “Love”, “God”, “Peace” – The truth to me is very simple; I Just Do Not Know…
You know more than you say that you do.
I know, beyond any shadow of doubt, that his mind is integrated to mine in a very peculiar way. I just do not avoid it anymore.
Why did you avoid it before?
He was not willing to expose me to the speculations it has caused and I wasn’t ready to expose myself and the people I care about to the scrutinizing that this ‘inspires’ under the ‘care’ of people that feel threatened by it. It is to both of us something very natural. It was never forced nor crafted to fit any labels. It simply is an experience that I have accepted, a long time ago, as a part of whom I am. That is it!
Who are you?
If you don’t know whom I am, you don’t know whom you are. That leaves no room for you in my life… It is best for both of us to ‘part’ now and for eternity. Forever...
September 15th 2022
Djanine Putin
