If there are people in your life that you don’t like, the negative energy vibrations you transmit toward them drag down your positive vibes, and you end up lower down on the “vibes scale” than you want to be. For example, let’s say on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 is your highest positive vibration, and 1 will be your most negative.
Even if you have high vibes with most people in your life, just having one person you don’t like can drag your vibes down to a lower level.
It is in your best interest to find a way to be grateful to all people–yes, even if you hate them, even if they drive you crazy, even if you are completely justified in hating them because of their unspeakably heinous behavior towards you.
Here are five keys to transform your perspective.
1. Discover the Root of the ProblemThe first step is to spend time with yourself and look into what happens to you when this particular person sets you off. Take the focus off them and shine the light fairly and squarely on yourself. You probably find you’re filled with a turmoil of emotions: anger, frustration, irritation, hurt, disappointment and so on. Allow these emotions to be there with non-judgment and compassion for yourself.
As you stay present to your emotions, they dissolve and you quickly re-discover your inner peace, clarity of mind and well-being. In addition, your sense of humor, and creativity return. From this place of wisdom and clarity, you can start to move into compassion and understand that the other person is living in pain and fear and doesn’t know a better way to behave.
2. Focus on the GoodMost people have some redeeming qualities, although in certain cases they are quite hidden from view. Assume the good qualities are in there, somewhere, because they are. Remember that everyone is born filled with love, joy, and inner peace. Somewhere in their life (for many people it’s because of an abusive childhood), this person has lost their way and become disconnected from the source of love. They have become trapped in a cycle of abuse–toward themselves and others.
Send this person vibrations of love. Pray for them. Ask that they will find their way back to the light. This does not mean that what they did to you was okay. It doesn’t mean that you have to spend time with them, or even have them in your life. It doesn’t mean that you are the person to help them.
It does mean, however, that you raise your positive vibration level.
3. Create BoundariesOne of the reasons people irritate us and get under our skin is because we don’t make our boundaries clear. It’s important to be clear about what is acceptable behavior toward us and what isn’t. This means we have to speak our truth, no matter what.
Everyone in your life should be respectful, friendly and courteous towards you. If they are not, it’s up to you to address the issue. Always make sure that you are respectful, kind and courteous towards others.
4. Mind Your VibrationWe get what we vibrate. If we speak to people in anger, that’s what we get back. If we are disrespectful, mean and insincere, that’s what we get back.
Allow your turbulent emotions to pass through you and, when you feel calm and relaxed, have a conversation with the person you don’t like, or write them an email or a letter. Communicate what you want with clarity, friendliness, and respect.
The more clearly you ask for what you want, the more likely you are to get it.
The number one reason you are doing this, remember, is to shift your vibrational level higher up the scale. With most people you get a positive response, but not always. Hold the faith, because the transformation in you is miraculous, irrespective of how the other person responds.
5. Understand the Power of LoveWhen we take 100 percent responsibility for what is happening inside of us, miracles happen. We find it easy to be grateful because we have transformed dislike into compassion.
Love is recognizing ourselves in the other.
On one level we are physical form and psychological makeup. On a deeper level we are all the consciousness of oneness. Love is the recognition of our oneness. Compassion, the highest form of love, then arises in us.